Emotional utility

Its beeen a while since i have pained my instincts to write..I have lost my inspiration to 'Time'.
I was thinking about the human mind and emotions as a utility to be played with,used and thrown away at wish,it reminds me of a 'thing' which was lost in the mad rush and forgotten among the luxury called life.
Its nothing but the old fashioned mud stove, often a part of the lifeline of every household in India and specially in kerala,made up of bricks and mud,fuel being firewood and the housewife would light it by blowing at the flickering sticks to ignite.Life would revolve around it starting with the morning kattan chaya and it would continue throughout the day,it being witness to everything from the pranks of children to the fights of elders,gossips of the fairer sex to the love of the teenagers,the housekeeper lighting his beedi with the stick taken right from the flames.
Being a warm place ,it was the breeding, rearing spot for the very own housecat,no other place in a house, kittens feel more secure and comfortable apart from the dark,smelly attic.
Hence,it was not just a mere place to cook,the time spent around it was in reality a rendezvous with the true ,innocent nuances of life itself.
All that has become a part of history and maybe the future generations would call it the primitive culture existed in a bygone era when man was begining to find technology and modern science to cook.
We now have some excellent,innovative and designer stoves to make cooking the easiest and laziest task, at the press of few buttons,but still we eat outside,we don't find enough timeto spend in the luxurious cooking places which were called kitchens.
But where is that charm gone,the romance which was associated with the 'old' fashioned stove,people no more gather around the cooking spot now,cats are giving births on beds and sofas even the aroma of freshly coocked food is extinct,where is 'chutta kappa' and shelled cashews??
Time consume all ,the emotions,the romance and human emotions have no value in this modern era where everything is used and thrown,everything goes in to a past tense soon and forgotten just like 'The old fashioned stove'.

'lifeline'

' Look Back and Get Experience'

'Look Forward and See Hope'

' Look Around and Find Reality'

' Look Within and Find Yourself '.

Global 'Warning'

The God's own country is sweating in the heat wave, which has swept accross the land frying it and causing 'sun strokes'!! now that is new,have we ever heard about sun stroke in kerala before?? But I am not surprised at all,I used to lament on this 5-6 years before when the 'bussinesss minded' people thought that every piece of land is a pot of gold and it just needed to be made naked,devoid of all vegetation,drilled and 'piled' for super structures.
The land is burning ,and we will still be proud of our luxurious flat on the 20th floor with a swimming pool,a beauty parlour ,a pool club and a nignt club with a shopping mall to spend. But we will forget that our children will need a play ground,with trees ,birds and flowers and we will continue to forget that while we sit sipping a cool fruit punch in our living room with the AC on,65% of 'our people' who have just a cover of tarpouline or makeshift roofs over their heads, are dieing daily of the heat which will increase 5-6 degrees every year.
A land of 44 rivers ,need bottled water manufactured by an MNC to quench the thirst of its people.But what about the people who depend on wells as theit primary source of water??
we need not bother about that,we need to bother about the next property developer coming to our town and set his eye on the next piece of land,so that we can add on to our collection of 'blocks'.
The mother nature has been benevolent and patient with us so long.. but not any more..we will suffer for what we have done,for we have sold our 'mother' to the perpetrators who have manipulated and put the 'love' under jeopardy.
But then ,do we care?? because we still can afford to live..and for those people??ah! who told them not to buy AC flats,who told them not to buy bottled water??who told them to be born poor,to live poor and die poor???..among 'us'..

its so sad..that I am vindicated..

'swami cult'

There has been a ruckus in the people of south india specially with the 'new controversy',rife in the media on the sexcapades of a 'swami.'Always media wants sensational news and it sells too,specially when it is on sex and that too when linked with a 'celebrity'??? is this person a celebrity and what has he done wrong?? having consensus sex is not wrong,moreover the video doesnt show any real sexual discourse apart from some intimate scenes.I believe its just an intrusion into the privacy of a person,whoever he might be.I dont know whether he has proclaimed in open that he is a 'brahmachari'or that he is practicing celebacy for attaining the whatever called 'nirvana'.
The fault is in us, the people who believe in demi Gods and practice rituals that are superstitious and give credibility to these people who commercialise spirituality.
just consider our temples and Gods who sit there,they are just a media to earn money for sangathans and devaswoms.People flock around these temples for a darshana waiting in queues for long hours, at the same time any person with lot of money and contacts can feel the holy darshana in a jiffy.if he donates more money he gets special prasadam directly from the hands of the main 'poojari'..rubbish. We are in the thick of hipporcary and unbelievable beliefs.
This 'hot news' is the result of that hippocracy which lie in the system of each one of us.The person involved is a human after all and very basic one at that,which he proves with his actions that he is not a 'sanyasi' yet.He might be giving lectures on spirituality and seeking of ultimate truth,which anyone can give if he is a good orator and knows how to get into the psyche of a common 'superstitious man.
we must not see God in these people who present themselves to be one,the mere quality of a 'god' like person is that he never says that he should be worshipped and followed and the one who can think good for everyone,love everyone,and serve everyone,leading a simple life,being humble to the core . And hence,every human being is a God,its so simple,u need not give 'prabhashanams to be one,Mother teresa never gave one,why dont we read about her,why dont we think about her,why dont we at least think of doing even a little bit of what she has done? she never wanted any body to follow her or never had a 'fan'association.
people like martin luther king,Gandhi,Baba Amte,swami vivekananda,sri ramakrishn paramahamsa,jesus christ,Abdul kalaam and many and many more never said they were God.
When will we learn to worship them,to worship the real values and to worship ourselves....???

'some man'

Its been a while, since I have posted anything on 'my space',more so because of lack of inpirational stuff coming up from the media to comment on, rather than my laziness to put undue presssure on my imagination.well!I think i'm not being honest here,'cause there has been a lot of activity in the last few months which should have really opened my creative eye and the 'hot news'which hit the indian media was that of a 'dimunitive giant'striding along the heights of glory and success in the field of cricket.This man is now on the verge of becoming 'god',if his achievements have not made him still.Someone said ,and I quote...'I saw god today,on the cricket field in Gwalior,he is 5'5" tall and weilds a willow and is a maharastrian'..many words have been said about this man,who relentlessly,tirelessly surge forward,nothing seems to be an obstacle in his path and when everyone thought, ultimately he has come of his age and by now he must guide the next generation and retire, he has produced a beauty out of nowhere,that is the greatness of this man. I just went about researching a little bit on people of his fraternity who had achieved greatness in their fields,around the world.When this 'boy'stepped foot on the international cricket field against terrefying pakis..schumaker was yet to drive a formula 1,lance armstrong was nowhere cyclying and doing tour de fanc,Lionel messi was in his nappies,Tiger woods was not known,Roger federer was learning to hold a tennis racket.Kapil,srikkanth were still playing the same game..people have come and gone,but this man is still holding on to it and holding it more firm now.back to back tonnes. I remember the 'very nemesis of this man', steve bucknor'showing his two palms and grimacing when this little champ hit fleming for a six, straight over his head on the sharjah cricket ground ,where even a sand storm couldnt stop him from tearing apart the Australians.
The same gesture is all ,what I can share and opine.he will go on...and on.. but one thing is assured,next day he comes on to the field he is again the same man with the enthusiasm of a teenager and with spark in his eyes and hunger in his belly ,for more..and more and we can sit back and watch 'the master at work, on another sunny day..
uh!

'Freedom'

Just been thinking about the meaning of 'freedom' and I am happy I met a wonderful person with whom i could interact and extract something about the'sense of freedom'.
Freedom is in a way related to the sense of fear, the moment we lose fear of attempting something new or doing anything extraordinary,we attain freedom. As the sense of fear resides in the subconsious mind,it is the subconsious mind which defines the boundaries of freedom
and the pragmatic approach would be to prepare the subconcious mind to take the consious mind onto the level where,anything is possible..
Also,freedom is doing things that the mind tells oneself,confining to the boundary set by the subconsious mind of righteousness and justice.We attempt anything that our inner self proclaims would be the path to freedom,as the subconsious mind is always right and just and we are free to do anything,if we are not stealing,killing or conspiring.No questions asked and no answers given.

But are we really free?? and independent??

remembring 'achchan'

I remember a very vivid picture of him lying on the metallic bench covered with white cloth upto the neck,chicken pox marks on his face which were almost receding, maybe due to lack of life and heat in the body,not conducive for the virus to thrive.He was about to be pushed into the red hot furnace for cremation, my brother and myself doing the last rites.
This picture remains very clear because that was the most recent, and i would like to remember more of him,i try many a times to recall the small incidents, which in a way craft a bond between the father son relationship for the 12 years,we were together.
But,we humans have this tendency to forget and time always plays funny,it doesn't respect people,relationships and it is beyond any emotional bondage.But even then...sometime not everything is elusive and things which i dont remember of him,i hear from many people who were around for longer times and who have known him much better..
As a son,I had the opportunity to learn very few things from him,and the one I still remember is when,during the usual geetha paraayanam in the evening he told me,always think good of others,and do your maximum to help people in need.you may suffer a lot, but if you always think good ,it will always come back to you as kind,and mostly when you need it.He lived his thoughts.He never amassed any wealth in life and whatever he earned gave it to his long list of kins.
He left us a legacy,a treasure of goodwill,which is invaluable and even today when I hear people talk about him in high esteem, my eyes start to fill and i have goosebumps all around.What he said was right, for we are known by his name, even today.
He was a very tough man,who grew up as the eldest of 9 members and had lot of struggle in his life to sustain a livelyhood for all the members and he succeeded.I get strength from him when i face difficulties in life and realize how tough a life,he would have led.
I have rarely seen him laugh but, i believe he was a very jovial person too.his younger brothers tell me about the pranks they all used to do,when he returns on vacation from border.As he was the master of the 'house' he would ask each of his brothers to massage him,lying on his back and they would compete with each other to do it for they know that they are going to get some real 'tip' from him after that.
I remember him today,as he was taken away 25 years ago,exactly on the same day.Its a long time, but then his memories even if few,have brought us so far and long time to go further till I too go into oblivion,as do everyone else,but what we leave behind is important,as he did...

2009 that was..

The year 2009 will be known as the recession year world over,for the year exposed America,which was considered to be the vast and the strongest economy, at the same time the phenomenon had least effect on the developiong economies like India,whose GDP grew at an astounding 7.9% in the last quarter.Hope,2010 bring stability and growth world over,with the rate of unemployment coming down.
We saw terrorism being rife and spreading like forest fire even to a state like kerala,thought to be the safest abode for anyone.We saw how fundamentalism and fanatism can destroy a country like afganistan and another in the path of anarchy in pakistan.
The year brought demises for legends like Michael Jackson and geniuses in their fields like murali and lohi.It also brought joy in the form of oscars to a music maestro in rahman and rasul and gulzar.
From the world of sports, the downfall of a 'tiger' and resurgence of Indian cricket team to the pinacle of world cricket with contributions from that tiny giant called sachin,who completed 20 years playing for the country,what a feat and what a man!?
Indian political scene, as always have been,a tumultous one with some uncalled for and hasty decisions, marred with scandals and scoops involving governers,police chiefs and beuro 'craps'.
The world also saw the first 'black' president of America in the year and we still realize that discrimination in the name of colour of skin is still a talking issue,when emphasizing on the first ever'black'!!! sad..
And I would rate the incident, which followed his election as the president,the most surprising and unprecedented event of the year...and that is the 'giving away' of Nobel peace 'prize' to Obama.He himself would have got embarassed, not because of his non worthiness for it but beacuse of the awfully premature decision.Does this show that a coveted award like Nobel has also crumbled against the weight of the most powerfull man on earth,the president of America??
What surprises me most was the rules and regulations which govern the decision for giving the award,in the commities of the previous years were blown in the air.
I think of a man called Gandhi,who never recieved the award on the grounds of a technical reason that he had been assassinated the following year when he was nominated.We cannot say that he was humiliated because of this,'cause noone has got the status of humiliating'the mahatma'.It is the award itself which has got demeaned by not having his name on it.
Another person coming to my mind is mother teresa who got the award at the fag end of her life,although she too doesnt need any awards to be recognized,in fact it is the Nobel itself which got honoured by the mere touch of those frail hands of a simple 'god' who lived amongst us.uh! how can I stop my tears...a mere thought of this woman can fill our hearts with love and compassion.how lucky were those who could see her ,touch her and feel her..
And so..2009 ended and began another package of 365 days,full of hope.
Let peace prevail,let people learn to love each other and at least remember those wonderful human beings who sacrificed so much to make our lives worthy of living.....

memories of kashmir..

we came to this place called 'the heaven on earth', when I was eight years old.Father was transfered to jammu from delhi and don't remember whether i was happy to see this so called unique place,for me every place seemed to be the same 'cause we often travelled where his job takes us to.Even the changes in climate wouldnt have made much difference, for now we were accustomed to all conditions,travelling to extreme north and far eastern states.
Here..the nature is dressed to kill..jaw dropping beauty all around,snow capped mountains,pine trees,apples and humble 'kashmiris',tall, well built with cheeks like apples,red and bubbly.
I never had enough opportunity to go around because everything was available inside the military campus.of!course school was little away but we had the army bus for transportation.
The initial months,when our quarter was not allotted ,we stayed for rent outside the campus and there, I experienced something which I will never forget.Although the nature had given everything to this place,the local houses did not have the sanitation facilities as any common house elsewhere would have.
The sanitation was very primitive and unique,all the house had their toliets on terrace and they were just a block of four walls without roofs,inside you have partitions for seperate rooms and each cabin would have two rows of cemented blocks parallel to each other to climb on and sit to relieve ourself,there was no drainage facility and the waste would just accumulate on the cemented floor.Now,every next day a person would come(mostly ladies),who is employed to dispose the waste(all the people who do this job are of the same caste ) with a broom and a big bamboo woven basket.she would collect all the waste inside the basket and wash the cabins ,then
would fold the broom in one hand,keeping the basket on her head and stroll away happliy to dispose,where does she do the disposal I never cared..
Imagine,a day when she falls sick or in case of a heavy rain..uh!! This 'was' kashmir..'the heaven on earth'.
We live in such a vast country where not only the languages,food,clothes,climates differ,even the methods of disposing human waste differ..but still there is a unity in diversity..we are all Indians.
the mighty Indians, the brainy indians.This is a country where a genius called 'Ramanuja' lived,who used to scribble his mathematical theorams on waste court papers,'cause he was employed as 'sepoy' in madras court and who later died of 'asthma' in london because he did not have the physical capacity to withstand the cold in london.His reasoning of infinity is still considers to be a genious work,scribbled on some of those 'yellow' court papers..
'I am proud to be an Indian'.

journey again..

These days before going to sleep,i get retrospective into my life to see whether i can sift through the years and get something to laugh about,something original that has happened which tickle me still.
Last night,I happened to travel down my memory lane about 20 years and reached,my last year in school,12th standard.That is the year when all extracurricular activies come to an end and all of us bunch together in classroom with our books and the only active organ in the body becomes that grey substance called brain.Whatever we couldn't complete in the normal study hours in school we were taught on holidays..and that was a fun time,mainly because of a solitary reason,we get respite from our monotonous uniforms and can see some colours around.
well! this particular 'extra clas's,i believe physics, was on a second saturday, and the day before ,we boys (9 in strength out of 18,a good ratio to have) dfecided to wear 'mundu' for the day,maybe the first time most of us would try,and wouldn't reveal the same to girls,so that we throw a surprise.
As planned I arrived on time, much before the schedule start,but i couldnt see anyone outside the main gate,which was the actual practice to welcome girls.An unknown fear crept into me,for suddenly i could feel something wrong.I walked along the corridor with weary steps to our classroom at the end of the building,it was a long walk,when i reached the classroom before ours, i saw my mates appearing from inside and my fear became a reality,noone was wearing 'mundu'.
shocked ,more at the insult of being cheated after taken into confidence, rather than the ignonimy of holding pensively at one end of the cloth and holding my bag with the other hand.
Then started the real fun,they had collected a type of fruit or seed from the tree in front of our classroom,which when pressed at the swollen belly would flush out a stinking,sticky liquid.they all got hold of me, lifted my silly clothing and pumped in the liquid,wetting my 'underside'.I was completly overpowered and helpless,the commotion brought the girls outside and some of them giggled in delight,while many others sighed in sympathy.
Unfortunately,it didnt end there,during the whole period in the class, they were having fun.End of the day,when i reached home, my whole clothing was stained and stinking.
Even though,it was an embarassing day for me then, today i could see the funny side of it and laugh a lot.Oh! how much I miss my school days and my friends..
'yaade..yaade ...bas yaade rah jaathi hai'...
chotti.. ye meetti, baathe rah jaathi hai..'.

Birthday

Today 37 years before,I was born. Its going to be just another day but somehow i feel the last birthday was quite special for me,it never occured to me december 14 to be a special day anytime before as last year,and i looked forward to the day,this year the same way.but as the life itself is so unpredictable just like people and we expect a lot from life,the simple things to fall in place but it always turn out to be a grind.a hard grinding grind.
What do I expect from myself,going into the next year??hmm just a little bit more cautious,may be age is catching up,work more towards the simple things in life and continue being good to everyone and everything.Lot of ego still there in me which got to be pruned up.Be prudent enough to undersatnd situations better and continue on the path of taking risks and do things which i fear to attempt.be a better person than yesterday and try to do good to fellow human beings.
Proffessionally,set short term goals and achieve it and earn money (something new added).
A wish...!! I dont forget my loved ones ever and try to be there always in need.But then..we are mere humans we tend to forget.so let me be humble enough to admit my smallest mistakes and make people around me happy.
Laugh a lot ,so that even a hint of my grief doesn become pain for others. Meet new people ,read a lot and try to understand life ,closer..

gender gap

Man and woman,have importance in unison and seperately, as different individuals in life and in any society,be it in home making ,proffession or nation building.The capacity of each gender to perform the same deed differently,relating their emotional and physical attributes contribute to the fullfillment of the deed.
But the gender gap is very much evident in our society,a woman always considered an inferior and submissive gender,eventhough the mental strength and perseverence of a woman is far more superior to a man.Biologically,a woman is more suited to acclimitise to different conditions
and the nature has always provided and reserved the best, to a woman.
Even among the animals,its the female who hold a respected figure in the clan.Among the lion pride,its the lioness who hunt,rear children and bring food to the male,but the king of the jungle is just namesake,the armchair executive.

coming back to the humans and we indians,we limit women to the confinement of 4 walls and shirk at the first instance of empowering them.we don't send girl child to school,though the ability of a girl child to learn and grasp things is far superior to boys.We ignore their views on any issues thinking them to be foolish,while its always a woman that has caused any revolution to take place,think of the adage,'theres a woman behind every man's success'.
Relating facts, of women being set apart from the mainstream or considered an inferior class in the proffessional set up in india,only14% of major companies employ 40%or more women and most of them work in lower levels or in middle management.the disparity in the salaries obtained by women doing the same job as their men conterparts is too high.

A recent survey conducted for gender gap revelas the dismal stage of the indian women,out of the 137 countries surveyed india stand at a poor 114th position.
women,as half of the human capital of india,will need to be more effeciently integrated into the economy in order to boost india's long term competitive potential.India's middle class will see a rapid growth offa very low base,but the shifts in spending are constrained due to the women's realtively low status at least for the next 10-15 years.
surprisingly,the political empowerment is far more evident compared to the role of women in any other walk of life.And we,raise our voice for 33% reservation for women candidates in lok sabha.If the same effort is taken to establish higher rate of girl education and reducing the infant mortality of girl child,we have hope of seeing India as a superpower in near future.and why not,we call our nation 'Bharath Matha',so its the women who are the torch bearers fro this run towards success. and that how it should be..

casteism

..yesterday we had a very scholistic discussion on the prevailing cast system and the umbrella of reservation on top of it.
Division of people on the basis of the jobs they do,colour of their skin ,languages they speak and the culture they follow are as old as 'puranaas',but unfortunately even today the people at the lower strata are downtrodden still.People were mainly catagorised on the basis of their livelyhood.A person who makes shoes is a 'chamar' and one who washes clothes is a 'dhobhi',and each member of his family is supposed to sustain that proffession and the next generation to follow suit.A chamar is born a chamar,lives a chamar and dies the same,he was not given the privilige to be learned and be wise.The so called upper class remained at the high end of the strata on the basis of land they own and power they possess to expolit others.Very sad that our society didnt have the dignity of labour and still continue to reel under that stigma,very different from the western part of the world where the skilled labour is always sought after and pays too.
Now, another cast has added upto the list ,the division of people on the basis of money and political power, another dangerous rift to have.we are slipping more and more deep into the world of ignorance and dividing ourselves among ourselves.
culture,a word which we never understand, often get confused with and we try to bring the ethnic tribes from the jungles to 'the main stream' in the name of upliftment.we purposefully ignore to understand that we are trying to uproot them from their natural habitat and plant them in our world,our culture??we believe living in concrete jungles,driving machines,using internet,eating junk food is a superior culture to theirs and want them to adapt to this.Is this not barbarianism,is this not conversion?have we ever tried to step into their world and understand them? can we ever go to the jungles,not as a tourist and try to survive even a week??They have a culture which is original and they still follow that.its us who are of an inferior race.
But still we dont eat food made by 'them'.still they are untouchables and they have seperate gods,thier women are raped,their children are made bonded labourers for life and noone cares.,
but we still try to 'uplift' them by teaching them 'english',asking them to wear jeans and work on computers.
Casteism is in our minds,till the day we understand that every human is one cast,noone is superior to the other,it will remain.
The next generation should marry from different races,casts,religion and bringforth children of a new breed who are just humans,nothing more,nothing less.

2012.

Its been more than an year now,since I read about the year 2012 and the catastrophe its going to bring on humanity and earth.The feeling of insecurity and intrigue had been eating my consious since then,went on in the search more and more about the predictions by mayans,the chinese and old english oracles and everywhere there is a mention of the year and the date 21st december.
The scientists throught the world say that the year 2012 is the time when a galactic shift take place and the axis of the earth may shift from its original position.This may cause havoc in the biosphere,and the signs are already here to see with climatic changes throughout the world,temperatutre rising and whirlwinds happening almost everymonth in each corner of the planet.
I have this ugly feeling inside me which tells me that something is going to happen just 3 years from now,maybe caused by reading all the stuff,but still... and we cannot do anything to fight nature,we will be just reduced to immobile misery when in contact with the fury.
All those who have known this and all those who will come to know about it,may live a better life from now on.Let this may be our reason to unite, as a species and forget all our hatred and enjoy 'life' to its fullest. love all and be good to nature for we may be pardoned from extinction.
Let us hope this wonderful civilization persist and the 'Armaggaddeon' doesnt happen..

post 26/11

One year has gone by,since some cowards riding high on lunacy spread havoc among people whom they never knew,for a fanatic reason? or no reason at all,'because an act like such dont have any reasonable reasons.
yesterday,people and media 'celebrated' the anniversary by lighting candles,remembring those who lost their lives and film stars campainging for the 'cause'.The local administration had proclaimed of giving 'damages' to the kins of those who became 'martyrs'??Humans have the tendency to forget and specially our political and beuruocratic fraternity, lot of time has gone by so fast that they didnt have enough time to attend to their promises,because making promises is the only way they can win elections and fool the voters again and again.If we recall, immediately after the incident a chief minister was asked to leave his office,another minister opened his mouth and paid the price,lot of thinking ,lot of postmortem,lot of debates and promises again.
137 lives were lost,each one important for their families and any amount of 'money' thrown at them will not be enough to replace a lost life but we make promises and promises have the importance only when they remain promises.I often wonder when someone is killed this unnnatural way,the govenment anounces a monetary benefit,is it one of the ways by which the government is taking the responsibility of what had happened ??washing their hands clean by bribing people?/it is, a sort of bribing to get votes and get into power the next time again,so that they can be 'responsible' again.why can't the administration learn and at least dont repeat the same mistakes!,because we know no government in the world is perfect.

Now,another debate is in the air whether we should hang the gunslinger who was caught or leave him to the land where he belongs,this will go on for years because our judiciary is so fast that it takes 17 years and crores of taxpayers money to 'compose' a report on the demolition of a monument,which each unfortunate human being saw on live T.V. and ultimately let it 'leak'..oh! funny.
we have spent 1 year and 31crores of rupees on a person who had done this genocide and he is still eating, sleeping and even wanted to tie a 'rakhi' on one of the sisters of this land..uh!it stinks.
Let him be taken to each house where a member was lost and let him stay there,and know what pain he has caused?/and let him do this for the rest of his life, let that be his punishment,for if he stays in the custody of our judicary, many many crore will be spent and ultimately somewhere,someone will make a monument for him and revere him with a garland for his deeds,for this is a land where a 'Mahatma' was killed..

school.

....a lonely life with only adults and nature around,maybe that would have shaped my character being a little reserved and introvert.dont remember any of my early days in school or nursery to be precise.we were in delhi at that time and i remember just this single,loud noice which would frighten me during my daily walk to school and return.I never asked about it to 'achcha',but i could observe that he knew my concern.The noice came from a single story building on the right hand side of the road on the way,in the mornings.I would hold my father's finger tight when i approach the place.most of the times in afternoons,while returning i would not hear it but i hear it in the evenings when we go to buy milk from one of those milma booths.the palce was more eeire to me 'cause i never found a single human outside the closed door.
It turned out to be a judo class,the thumping sound being the sound when a body was thrown on the mattress below.ooops! a relief!
Then i joined K.V (kendriya vidyalaya sangathan) and started my school journey.i dont remember myself crying on the first day to school,away from the security of one's home and the care of parents.First time in the open big world with lot of kids like me.I certainly would have cried like many others,at least for a day..!I remember the names of some of my classmates even now and can visualize my class room .we all had one wooden desk with the flap on and a chair of our own.of!course have those black and white photographs of each class of students,it was a speciality on those days to take photographs at the end of each year.do the schools still have that ssytem dunno!but these are gems now, in my memoribilia and still feel the pride when i see those now hazy pictures of teens on blue and white uniforms...

journey again..

I dont remember any part of my journey as a toddler which took me to all through the eastern and high altitude lands in the country.Maybe that explains my liking for mountains,forests and animals.I am always at home in those terrains,the cool breeze that flows, caressing the long grass and wetting your face with droplets of dew. Cattle grazing in a languid grace,where even time stops and looks at nature in awe.
People of these lands are also like the nature around,with innocence reflecting in their smiles,spreading happiness all around and living life, full.they work in the fields and grow what they need,they are contended with what they have and dont keep any big ambitions,they respect the land they till and it shows even in the methods of agriculture they follow,they dont cultivate the same piece of land throughout the year,giving a period of six months to hybernate and give the land to prepare itself for the next crop.
Road to serendipity is what i would say, which leads to a place in the mountains.Its an honour and I am proud that I was able to live in those beautiful pieces of land,very close to nature and harmony.sometimes...maybe sometimes, I would still like to go there and stay for long..and never to return again..

children's day

today is children's day and when i called back home,my kids were excited with their histrionics yesterday,they celebrated 'the day,' one day before and enjoyed every bit of it.Narrated the functions with that eager enthusiasm ,which the kids can only have. They participated in fancy dress,with 'chikku' being 'Radha,'chinju','unnikannan and kichu,the 'chendakaran.'unnikannan complaining that 'her' 'pullankuzhal' didnt produce any sound,though she tried her best.'our damsel Radha was at her best,though she wanted to become 'unnikannan',we pursued her to change,telling her that radha was taller. 'the chendakaran' now is adament on performing his feat at the temple festivals.
Their excitement took me back to my school days, when we had all the fun.I miss those days,the most wonderful days of anyone's lives,but the exposure,that the kids get now, is tremendous.At this age they know why we celebrate 'children's day.when i asked my kids,I never expected an immediate reply,but their answer was sponataneous and they pronounced 'chaacha Nehru' with utmost ease.I dont think,at our times I knew so much.
Let us celebrate their joy and be one among them and not lose that innocence which makes this world still a wonderful place to live in.
I also would like to remember that small boy who used to accompany his father to the family quarters at the military camp,where we used to reside and would help polish the officer's shoes,when we were getting ready to go to school.,and the girl who used to lend a hand to her mother in cleaning the 'primitive' toilets in the same camps.This childrens' day is for them too and thousand others who never go to school,who are not fortunate enough..even to know what this day mean..'this day' is same as any other day,earning their daily bread.They cannot afford to celebrate 'cause that would cost them a meal..
Let them be happy too, on this day,'cause'chaacha' loved all of them like flowers.
Let us love every child,for they are..what we were..

journey follows...

..most of my childhood was away from home,my most beautiful place on earth ,kerala. land of coconut,land of spices ,the land where the euoropeans landed first,and the land where politics is a part of daily life,every person is aware and emotionally attached to the states' politics.the land where a 'daily' newspaper is as essential as the daily cup of morning 'kattan chaya' and'bidi',where the literacy rate is as high as 80%,which is 20% higher than the national average,the land where girl education is more than above average,compared to the national average..But,the exploitation against women happen the most ,where you find sepearte seats for women in the local transports and where women fear to come out alone at nights,where the fiscal defecit is always on the negative and the most 'commonest'man likes to spend more than he earns,where he spends more than 70% of his income on a house of his dreams,where the cost of living increase on every new project, the government announces..the only state in the whole of the country, where there is no specific distinction from a city and a village,where a common man is in access to every facility a city dweller enjoys,even in the remotest of villages..its really a heaven as everyone proclaim,.there are certain places on this wonderful land, even gods would envy.This land is blessed with all that one could dream of ,as far as natural beauty is concerned.

I am proud that my soul belong here and i speak the language of this land.The village ,which is the land of my forefathers is a tiny one,with believers of all faiths residing in an area of 15 sq.m,in which there are hotels,theaters ,temples,churches and a mosque,primary and secondary schools.

rice fields,planktons,coconut trees are part of the greenary spread across,a small pond is a proud asset to every household,which is becoming a rarity nowadays ,thanks to the land mafia,and the common villager succumbing to the greed,which is obvious in the 'tsunami of power and money that flows..for the destruction of our naive countryside and a commoner...

criticism

A great day for me,when a 'very special' person came out with a strong and genuine criticism.A comment on an inbuilt complex,which drags my creativity to an extent of self praise.its true that somewhere,on some of the issues that i raise, i sound unreal in my commitment of that issue,maybe the way I present it,i stress on it with more emphasis than required and which result in losing the charm of reading it,and it becomes a personal affair,rather than highlighting the cause.
Or may be,I try to show people around that i am aware of these issues and try to be a bit superior??different??.
Now, only someone who knows me so very well can comment on this..wow!! its an eye opener maybe some kind of an insecure feeling inside me has caused this,which certainly has to be removed,which I was aware of but never dared enough to reach inside and pluck it out.
This is why I say,you got to have few people around you who know you better.better than even yourself. some of the things , even if you are aware,you don't show the courtesy to admit.A big crime that we are showing to ourselves.
Now, when i have become aware,i am at great peace and maybe have become a better person,I was, a few hours before. I don't thank that person,because we know the psyche', of each other so very well, that its just understood,( even if we don't admit that) and its unconditional!!??.Is there someone else,who can do this for me??maybe my kids no one else.
Its a mind game...